Wannabe Page 3 reporter Lord Mani sneaked into an important event in the city recently. It was the mahurat of the most talked about yet-to-be-released film in recent times—Mera Coat Bhi Sexy, Tera Petticoat Bhi Sexy. The concept of the film has already generated so much public interest that the mahurat was thronged by a plethora of politicians, journalists and nurses. Our reporter was intrigued by the presence of the nurses, for this fraternity is hardly represented in other media events. Without much ado, the scribe was able to get all the answers to his questions (almost all).

This film has been produced by the Sex-starved Nurses’ Union of India. One of their union leaders, Joylakshmi by name, has written the script as well as played the lead role in the film. Directed by a politician named Raunak-chori Chori (who plays the male protagonist), this movie promises to be an entertaining thriller, as it will draw elements from Malayalam porn films, song-dance sequences from Bollywood blockbusters, and suspense and action from Hollywood thrillers. (Click here for the details of the movie)

All was going well until the start of the press conference. The heroine told the press that ever since the movie was shot, she is getting threatening calls from the hero for the distribution rights of the film. She said she will not part with the rights over her film since it’s her baby. Two months’ back, she had contemplated suicide because she failed to find distributors who would buy her tale. She said that her modesty was violated when they refused to believe that the movie poster that she had designed was authentic and not trick photography. She has now approached the State Women’s Commission for justice, but is sceptical about receiving the same. She also said that Raunak-chori Chori has been forcing her to marry him against her wishes. She was on the verge of tears when she demanded sexual freedom, the freedom to screw any man she liked without getting entangled in the wedding web. It was an emotional scene, for almost everyone in the audience was moved to the point of tears. After gulping down her emotions, Joylakshmi finally said:

I will release a CD soon to establish my relationship with Raunak-chori Chori

The whole atmosphere reverberated with the slogans of “Jai Joylakshmi”, raised by the nurses and other sympathisers. The hero, Raunak-chori Chori, was not available for comment. This was because the State Women’s Commission (his PR?) strongly advised him not to talk to the press.

The reporter asked some of the dignitaries present in the event about how they felt about the movie. Hush Chopra, the owner of Hush Hush Productions had this to say:

This is a landmark event. We are all waiting eagerly for the CD to be released. We are fed up of monotonous porn movies; this movie promises excitement and entertainment at the same time. We are trying to negotiate with Joylakshmi for broadcasting rights of the movie

Adnan Semi, the semi-singer cum semi-actor cum semi-pianist, was very pleased with the poster idea.

This is an inspiring movie! This will give all those fat and ugly people out there a new ray of hope…that even they can have rocking sex, and that it only takes two grotesque pairs of lips to deliver that sensational kiss! One of my support staff has downloaded the movie poster and set it as desktop wall-paper. Every day we worship Joylakshmi and draw strength from her example. Jai Joylakshmi!

Everyone in the audience went ga-ga over the poster and the story. Our scribe has therefore, decided to attach a “moist-watch” tag on this movie. Watch out for Mera Coat Bhi Sexy, Tera Petticoat Bhi Sexy in a theatre near you!